Here is my dark and slightly depressing writing...
The Quest
I sit. Knees huddled up to my chest. my steady heartbeat a mournful song. Hot, thick tears spilling down my smooth cheeks. Tall grass tickling against my hunched back. The mountainside, a good vantage point to spy on the entire valley. Sun sending out soft colours of orange and pink as it sets behind the opposite hill of the gully. A necklace clenched tightly in my hands. My hair hiding my face as I struggle to contain a wave of sobs. I know that it's dangerous to stay here.
A small sensible voice in my head tells me I must continue on my quest, that I must retrieve the stone of quartz. But I don't care. I don't care anymore. The world could crumble apart and I wouldn't try to stop it. For now that my best friend is gone, nothing matters. But it is the thought of her face when she told us we must get to the stone first that jolts me back to reality. After all, if perhaps she is not dead, she'll be near the quartz, in desperate need of help.
Kia ora Liana,
ReplyDeleteI'm a Manaiakalani facilitator that sometimes visits your school and I used to teach there, but I'm not sure if you'll remember that? Also, your Dad and my Dad are cousins.... so I was super excited to stumble across your blog post. Especially as I love writing too!
Wow! Thank you for sharing your story with us! I agree, it is a little dark but it's also deliciously well-written! I really enjoyed your shorter sentences in there - they had a panicked, desperate kind of effect which communicated character well in your writing. I love the way you've ended it with us not knowing what happens next. Did you know that one great way to hook readers into viewing your blog is to add an image as well? I bet you could use Google Draw to create an amazing picture of your character - or perhaps draw one by hand? I love challenging myself to use the polyline tool on Google draw to create dramatic hair for my characters and your character would lend itself to this, with her 'hair hiding my face'. Thank you so much for brightening my day with some beautiful writing! I look forward to seeing if you start to build on this to make a novel of it! Happy blogging!
Amie Williams
Kia ora Mrs Williams,
DeleteI most certainly do remember you teaching at Matawai. Was it Room 2 that you taught? I can't quite remember the details.
Yes, I find that quite often dark writing just seems to suit my writing style better than upbeat pieces. To be honest the hook at the end of the story is only exists because my mind went blank and I had no idea what to do next (also I was hungry and when I came back from lunch I'd lost my thread of thought, but that's beside the point).
I'd never thought of creating an avatar of sorts for my writing! I would love to do that at some point, to hopefully help to enhance my writing, and for a bit of fun! Once I've done it I'll make sure to add it onto here.
Thank you once again...
-Liana
Hello Liana
ReplyDeleteI would love for you to keep working on this fabulous piece of writing, I am intrigued to know what might happen next! Could your friend really be alive and why is the quartz stone so important?
So many questions???
You have well and truly hooked me through the sense of urgency you have created, your shorter sentences giving a real sense of desperation and conveying the pain of your character. I love the sound of your heartbeat creating a "mournful song"...drawing you in to the emotion of your character and her loss.
Well done...I will keep my eye out for more!
I am missing your sentences too, so thank goodness I can read such amazing writing on your blog.
Take care
Mrs Bennett x
Kia ora Mrs Bennett,
DeleteI am looking forwards to creating a story out of this. Yes, it is all a mystery for now (including for me) but hopefully once I'm done my story all will become apparent.
As I said to Mrs Williams above I have discovered that dark writing kind of suits me better for some reason. Bit sad really that writing pain is easier than writing happiness. I just find for some reason that writing sad scenes comes to me easier, perhaps it is from reading quite a few books of late. I think that a certain death that I shall not spoil at the end of Allegiant mucked my brain up a bit. I am still mourning the loss of that particular character that I shall not name.
Thank you once again...
Look forwards to muddling my already bonkers mind with character details and story plots.
Take care,
-Liana
Hi Liana,
ReplyDeleteI am intrigued and excited as I read your amazing writing. I am not sure why but it made me think of the style of John Marsden and the Tomorrow series. Have you read him? I have The Dead of Night. The first one is Tomorrow When The War Began. The idea of the quartz stone is strong. I wonder about other characters and how they might come into your story. Wow. Lost for words! You are clearly not:) Very, very impressed.
Mrs Shaw